“Take my good side”

 

‘Social Media,’ (now there’s oxymoron) is becoming an increasing concern, especially but not exclusively for parents and could be more anti-social than social.

The BBC reported on 4th January http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42563173 Schools should play a bigger role in preparing children for social media’s emotional demands as they move from primary to secondary school, England’s children’s commissioner says. Anne Longfield said she was worried many pupils at that stage became anxious about their identity and craved likes and comments for validation. Her study said children aged eight to 12 found it hard to manage the impact. SWEET JANE BLOG-SELFIDGES ADVERT

Although my instinct is to slaughter everything ‘internet’ I suppose I shall have to be a bit more objective because however much one might wish to pull the plug I, like so many other people am pretty much connected all the time. Damn it, I even have some SMART home devices plus the ability to see what an elderly live-alone relative is up to. Not only can I be spied upon but I can spy on and stalk.

Investigations have begun into the impact of social media on the nation’s youth but what about the adults and are there differences in our respective uses and effects of social media?

 

Adults tend to worry about their children. This is matched by children not being concerned about their adults. (This is probably morally correct, young children should not have to worry about their parents, there’s plenty of scope for that in the future!)

Children appear fearless when it comes to hitting the keyboard and tapping their screens whereas most adults over 40 are still suspicious about the SEND button (aka Carriage Return) because they know there can be negative impacts from it. Whereas the young will spray out words and images with barely any self-control, most adults will try to self edit. Until, at least, they become addicted to the speed of unconsidered self-expression.

It’s happened to me. Just over a year ago a famous musician died. It wasn’t anyone I valued or admired (his music was to my ears, damp and derivative) but a friend of mine used to perform a tribute act of this singer and I told him on Facebook that now was the time to re-ignite his career. ‘After all’ I LOLLED, ‘you’re better than him anyway’. I was promptly scalded by another person for being insensitive and I immediately scrambled around to delete my comment.

I felt foolish and gauche because in attempting a ‘funny’ I inadvertently showed the world a side of me I didn’t want to display. Like so many others who use FB and its business oriented cousin; Linked In, I try to sculpt a portrait of what I want people to see but it’s so easy to undermine one’s own hard posturing when a moment of spontaneity arrives and obliterates it all. I know some folk really buy into online arguments and trading insults but like in my real life, I really hate confrontation.

I think that people fall into three broad groups.

Group One contains those who rather like President Trump have no compunction in letting their inner rebel teen ejaculate half thought thoughts and angry tantrums. Opinions will land where they will and everyone shall choose how to feel and react. ‘Your problem mate, not mine’.

Group Two includes those like my friend whose online liberal leanings are probably at odds with the lifestyle he has finally achieved in middle age. He really wants to be loved for the good things about him (I’m the same) and knows there are warts and blotches to be masked.

The third group would include people like my father who have a vague idea of what it’s all about but forget there is no privacy and that what you might say from the heart and feels like a private comment to a presence you recognise, can come back and bite you.

Many of us have written diaries. It’s not a new thing and if the plethora of available January-December diary/notebooks is anything to go by, is something that still has a market. Entries in your daily diary are very different from what you might put on a Facebook timeline because they are not private. There’s a freedom of thought that a writer can afford to add to an A5 diary because you do not expect it to be seen by anyone else. When however your writing hits social media, it has the potential to seen and judged far, deep and wide. Forever. diarycover

Once the writer is aware of this, his output becomes very different from that of a private diarist. To start, abbreviations and codes have to go because nobody will understand them. Then, if the writer wants to avoid embarrassment, they are unlikely to reveal deep dark secrets and — much like me — keep away from politics and sex. Instead, what we add to the web it is hoped will reveal ideas that are amusing and thought provoking. What these ideas are does not perhaps matter, so long as they present one’s good side and don’t ruin your public image, that’ll just about do.

 

 

 

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Travel Nerves

 

I’m a nervous traveller.

At first glance this is odd because I’ve been travelling alone since I was 8 years old and despite having made tens if not hundreds of work and leisure trips over the years I still get the jitters.

Even odder is that travel is pretty much my destiny. I don’t take astrology at all seriously, yet I am aware that as a Sagittarian, being a traveller is supposedly a trait.

It’s hard to be sure why travel stresses me so much. I like the freedom and experience of going and being elsewhere but certainly as I get older I feel an anxiety about the transit side of things.

Sagittarius
I don’t believe in Star Signs, but here is mine anyway

My suspicion is that having arranged so many trips for clients over the years added to all my own experiences, I am super-aware of the laws of s-d that means something can always go wrong. I recall that in 1992 as I was queueing in Rome airport to go to Sicily when I thought I’d lost my passport. I was by the gate and completely flipped. I had a tantrum/meltdown that rendered me out of control until an army-clad official came up to me and told me to calm down. He asked for permission to frisk me for the missing document and within a few seconds, he found it.

A similar thing once happened at Porto whnervous-234x300en I missed a flight and more recently as I was sauntering through Heathrow T2 I heard my name aloud on the PA system. The shock and horror hit like a bolt. I had thought I was just a few feet from the gate when it dawned that I was walking in 100% the wrong direction. I span on heel and sprinted from the Iberia to the Alitalia zone and made the flight. I could go on as I’ve had more near misses but even now these recollections are making me even more nervous.

All in then, it’s the not being in control that does it for me. I’ll  stop now because the hyperventilating is starting.

Out and In…

Breathe out and in…

 

 

Pic credits:

Sagitarrius: https://www.the-astrology-of-love.com/how-to-attract/a-sagittarius-man/

http://www.arenapersonnel.com/arena-nervous-attending-interviews/

 

Travel Coach Weekend Thought WANTED: Time to Create

Dear Travel Coach

Q. The good news is that my classic-car rental business, that I began during the recession, has done well. The difficulty is that as it has grown, I spend more time being the administrator and less time coming up with new ideas. Also, I get loads of emails requesting internships and money requests from needy charities. I believe in CSR but it’s all too much. How can I address these issues?

Sid, Northampton.

Dear Sid,

A.  It looks like you need a ‘right-hand person’. You will need an assistant that shares your passion and knows everything about the business. This will help in two ways. Firstly when you need to brainstorm and bounce thoughts around, it’s good to do it with someone who reflects your normal self, allowing you to play devil’s advocate. Secondly, you need a trusted person to be able to step in either when you take a well-earned break or if you get run down by the proverbial bus or more likely, a dose of the ‘flu. Invest time in selecting the right person and be prepared also to invest substantially in their wages. You are appointing a professional and not just someone to fill a gap.

Hertz advert

Once your ’emissary-on-earth’ is in place you can shut yourself away and get back to developing schemes, meeting creative talent (designers, web-builders, young tech experts etc). Your team will soon get used to arranging their own lunch breaks, sorting appointments and returning forgotten baby-seats and roof-racks without having to disturb you at all.

Forward non-urgent e-mails to a second, secret (known only to you) mail box that you can look through in your own time. It’s good to support students needing work advice and it’s important to consider the needs of various charities, but do these things on the way home or indeed at any time that you choose.

 

 

If these strategies are designed to show your team where their interaction with you halts, you need to do something that allows you to engage with them too. The best way to achieve this is to hold a weekly scheduled meeting. As always, it needs fixed start and finishing times and has to be structured. Although this may initially feel a little too ‘bossy’, a viable agenda is to allow your staff the chance to ask advice and opinion and for you to answer their queries and to agree their goals and strategies.

Ensure somebody takes notes of what has been agreed and make it clear that there ought to be no reason to revisit what has been said unless there are problems. Remember, the aim here is to empower each person to have total control over what they do, in order for you to be free to do what you want to do. These strategies are for everyone to benefit and that in turn will benefit your business. apple advert

Many artists, creatives and innovators find their idea gets swamped by their business admin – don’t let it happen to yours!

 

 

 

 

 

 

(originally featured in Travel Bulletin’s Travel Coach /Ask Renato-October 2009)

 

 

Photo credits:

Hertz: q=Vintage+cars&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjCjJPtnurTAhVnLMAKHdwNAYgQ_AUICigB&biw=1094&bih=487#tbm=isch&q=Vintage+car+rental+advert&imgrc=d5EyWNKrvHUqFM:
Apple advert:
i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/01/15/article-0-16F3902B000005DC-58_634x919.jpg

 

What Now

 

Travel Coach Weekend Thought:

Q. I am a student on work experience with a travel agency that is set to merge. What is the point in starting a career in travel when the future looks so bleak for me and the other members of staff?

Dorothy, Nottingham

A  Dear Dorothy,

There is no quick answer because despite all the changes in booking patterns in the trade, nobody really knows where our industry is heading. The speed of change is rapid and many of us find it hard to keep up with, let alone get ahead of the game. As a coach however it is my duty to focus on the positives, so here goes

 

Youth equals choice. Being a student means you can still select your career direction. If you develop I.T. skills, you will be in great demand because the industry uses technology a lot. Previously being a computer person meant being a background figure, but now and in the future, you have the chance to be much more centre stage.

A White Star passenger list cover from 1930

 

If you fancied front-desk work in a travel agency, why not use the same skills in a hotel or a conference centre? When I coach agency staff that looking to change career, I emphasise the great range of prospects in Hospitality. If you start at reception and become good at it, you can soon be on the route to management. The same applies to Food & Beverage and restaurant work. There are some really fantastic jobs in the Conference and Meetings side of the business and the support provided by organisations like ABPCO (https://www.abpco.org/) is way ahead of what has been available to retail travel.

Experience also equals choice. Your more experienced colleagues can take a similar view, because even if they may not have your exuberance and youth, they still have gravitas and know-how. Loads of people are achieving great success with the excellent satellite travel agencies (the term home-worker is being used less because many do not now work from home.) This way of working suits those who enjoy being their own boss, have an entrepreneurial spirit and are content with being alone for long stretches – it is not for everyone.

Travel agencies will not vanish completely. They will however become more specific in whom the serve and in what they offer. Your senior colleagues should focus on their individual skills and strengthen them. An example would be someone who is very good at selling a particular product such as cruises, or a destination such as Florida. They need to home in on what they are good at and become as indispensable as possible.

None of these ideas are guarantees of job tenure but it is important to remember that although there will be fewer jobs as a travel agent, the broader travel business will actually offer more prospects than ever before.  Opportunities are out there, but not as you knew them.

Photos:

http://titanicbelfast.com/Discover/Titanic-Stories/Secrets-of-ocean-liner-passenger-lists.aspx

thechronicleherald.ca/sites/default/files/u23/westinbellboy.JPG

Originally published in Travel Bulletin – What Now? Travel Coach 28 March 2007

©Renato Fantoni

 

Travel Coach Weekend Thought: Be visible not invisible

Dear Travel Coach,

I sell loads of holidays in our travel store and am a loyal worker but I don’t get any recognition. How do I improve my profile?

Penny – Blackpool

Dear Penny,

Get physical. An easy way of becoming noticed is to be aware of your body language and to use it deliberately. Therefore, if you happen to be making a cup of tea and someone strolls into the kitchen, don’t move aside but stand your ground, and then offer to make a cup for them too. This brings you right into the picture as strong yet thoughtful.

Set the mood. Every work place has its own mini-culture, its own way of doing things. If you can start affecting how other people feel, you will be noticed e.g. say “well done” quite loudly when somebody makes a big booking. Focus on good things and colleagues will begin to see you in a positive light. Invisible_Woman_Recruited

Suggest new ways. Once you have nudged the old culture-shake it up a bit by actually doing something differently e.g. sort the marketing emails by types of holiday previously taken instead of by post-code.

Volunteer and over-deliver. Ask for responsibilities and take on projects. Some people may think you are showing off, but by and large, they will appreciate that you are lightening their load and will soon start turning to you as a first resort when help is needed.

Get an image. Become known for recycling used toner cartridges or for saving stray cats. It doesn’t really matter what your cause is, so long as it enhances your personal brand and is inoffensive (unlike becoming involved in politics or a crusader for religion.)

Be a gentle rolling stone. If you are a career hunter, try to move on and up every three years. This shows the right blend of stability and ambition to make you appealing to potential new bosses.

Be good but be modest too. Whether in an interview or a casual conversation, try to strike the right balance when talking about your achievements. By all means describe what great things you have done but also emphasise when you have been assisted by somebody else. This shows you know about working in a team and that you are neither arrogant nor one who craves the limelight.sinatra

Pay attention to detail. If your client is about to drip coffee onto their lap, quickly hand them a tissue. If they show interest in an out of season destination – pull up a weather map. Do little things that show you remember people and are interested in their well being.

Carry out your promises. When you say to somebody “I’ll call you next week”, ensure you do it. If you offered to pass on a referral or some information do as you said you would to keep their attention.

All these things are designed to put you in a good light because they are all good things to do. They combine positive deeds with being seen to be doing them.

Invisible woman:

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/avengersalliance/images/f/f9/

Invisible_Woman_Recruited.png/revision/latest?cb=20130416194931

Sinatra: http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2043064.1418401656!/

img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/sinatrapath13a-2-web.jpg

 

Travel Coach Weekend Thought: Staying true while all around you changes

Dear Travel Coach

A large company has just swallowed up my small independent car hire firm. I am sure that with my experience I can move up the ladder but need some tips on being genuine and standing out from the crowd. Any ideas?

Michelle, Ipswich

Dear Michelle,

The overarching aim here is to be yourself and avoid becoming an anonymous cog in the machinery. Here are some strategies:

The past counts. Be proud of your small company background and let it shine through. Because you previously multi-tasked you are in a great position to empathise with a broader range of people in this new set up than the ones who only know the big company environment.

A quiet revolution. There will be a corporate way of doing stuff. (Pretend to) adopt it and then tweak it your way. The important thing is to abide by rules and policies but to give them a unique spin. Some people may think you’re showing off – they’re right, you want to be seen to be different but still ‘on board’.

Grafting

Do as I say… By keeping true to your word you will maintain respect. If for example you want your sales team to promote rentals of electric vehicles, drive around in a one yourself.

Be clear and visible. In a small outfit it is difficult to hide when things go wrong. Because the opposite can be the case in a big set-up (such as in governments) you will do well to take the blame when you’re at fault and helping sort it out whenever you’re not. People will see you as reliable dependable and trustworthy.

Embrace the big. This new environment can offer many fresh angles. Although some of them might be scary (such as taking a qualification for Continued Professional Development) push yourself to do them and enjoy the ride. Your enthusiasm will be noted and will work in your favour.

Split personas. Successful people have a knack of using different bits of their personality in different situations, being a leader with their teams one minute and then showing deference to their bosses the next. The great skill here is to maintain consistency. It’s a bit like being an actor except that you are always being ‘you’- just that it is the ‘you’ that has planned what you want to say and is able to react in the same style.

Un-hidden persuasion. Once you have worked out the genuine ‘You’ you need to work out how other people are buying into it. Listen out to reactions and watch people’s faces. Do they smile back? Do they always answer immediately and willingly when you say their name? These are all clues as to how well you are being perceived. Be prepared to adjust – but make sure you are always being true to yourself.Devil & Angel

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If the IP owners object to these pictures appearing here, please advise me and I shall take them, down. This is a non-commercial site.
photos: 

John Hoppy Hopkins men and cog https://hoppyx.com/grafting/

Angel/Devil photo
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/3f/97/45/3f974504272a5f6ce48ed2ef95a83401.jpg

 

 

Travel Coach Weekend Thought: Meeting in the Middle

Dear Travel Coach

Our weekly agency staff meetings are becoming challenging because this current Pre / During / Post Brexit climate is leading to vulnerability and team arguments. How can I alter my approach to make people calmer and better?

Kind regards

Sean, Taunton

Hi Sean

  1. Fail to prepare…

Be sure of your objective/agenda before the meeting and any ensuing conversation. This will help you get back on track when the discussion heats up and gets emotional. People under pressure tend to challenge, blame, threaten, and curse. By knowing where you are taking the conversation, you can allow their (important) emotional outpourings, yet still move them forward.office 1950

 

  1. Don’t fudge it. The first thing is to demonstrate you are not fazed by the climate by tackling the key issues straight away. Subjects such as disloyal customers, double-dealing suppliers, and the Sterling unfriendly market really should be talked about. Even if you don’t solve the actual issue, the team will respect your awareness.
  1. Reality first. (Group) conversations include three elements; facts, emotions and suppositions. By starting with the facts (“profit is down by 26%”) moving through the emotions (“I feel insecure too”) and keeping assumptions (“You just don’t seem to care enough”) until last, you have a better chance of stressing your own feelings which in turn will the bring out the group’s empathy for you.
  1. Respect the varying speeds of osmosis. Otherwise known as learning styles, people take in information in different ways and at different speeds. Let them know they can say (or scribble or email or text) their piece at any time-it doesn’t have to be right now.Happy Boys
  1. Stay neutral. When people share their feelings with you try to maintain a ‘clean’ position. Clearly, you have feelings too but by showing you have no axe to grind and that you’re not being defensive they can unload more easily. Once they know that you have understood they will be much easier to communicate with.
  1. Common Ground. Great negotiators, sales people, and mediators have a natural ability to discover what they have in common with the other person. They invest time in learning about their inspirations and priorities. Once you have shown you are interested in the members of your team individually they will trust you more.
  1. Talk about real occurrences. Some leaders have a habit of placing bad news between a good news intro and a good news outro in the hope that it will be easier to deal with. Your people however are not stupid and would see this technique as fake. By discussing the actual behaviours of clients, markets and colleagues you will deliver a more coherent message.
  1. Have an agenda and keep to time. Because team meetings usually last around half an hour, it is vital not to get bogged down in any one subject. If a conflict arises, a good way of diffusing it is to make a note to return to it-and to swiftly move on. Do however deliver on the promise, people are wise to the ‘Let’s park it here for now’ lie.

 

Sources:

Office: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/05/a1/d7/05a1d7a8145eebd9a7e2e8b7d3bccb10.jpg

Young Men: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a8/ed/39/a8ed39051c6f6391ef6202094a7a625a.jpg

If the copyright holder of any image has an objection to use of their IP please contact me and I shall remove them immediately.

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